icassop: (Default)
[personal profile] icassop
Honestly, I have no idea why I thought going back to university was a good idea. Why, why, why...?!
If you read my last rant, you'd think I'd be happy that I got accepted. But now I just think that I must be mad to ever believe that going back to the dreadful studying was the way to go.

Classes start in October and I still need to send out my enrollment application. Studying costs a lot of money. Money that I don't have. And how do I know that I won't fail my classes because of fucking maths... I haven't done anything more than a bit of calcuating prices, percentages and a bit more complex stuff in my online astronomy class in the last SIX YEARS.

*bangs head against wall*
I'm so fucking doomed. Why the heck did I think this is gonna help me. Why, why, why...?!

I wish I were a cat. Do whatever I want, come and go as I please, no responsibilities, no duties. I'm so not fit to be human o|¯|_

Also, the worst thing is that I don't even know what else to do if not going back to uni. A friend asked me that yesterday. He wanted to know what I wanted to do on short term, like the next month. I had no clue. Isn't that pathetic? I have no ambitions, no goal, no reason to live (nah, not gonna think about suicide, don't worry). Wouldn't it be nice to be Patrick from Spongebob? Literally live under a rock, have no money but still be happy as fuck. And you'd be so dumb you wouldn't even realise how pathetic your life is.

...and that shows how fucking lost I am in life. Just like 1.5 years ago. Nothing has changed.
The only commendable thing I have started since then is picking up writing as a new hobby. I may or may not post something here for you to read. It will be f-locked though.

*sighs and crawls back into bed*
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